I came across this witty piece of literature while I was avoiding doing my school work today. Some of the entries are pretty ridiculous, however, some are spot on.
For example: #4, #10, #19, #25, actually all of page 5 is pretty accurate.
I think I just wasted about an hour and half reading those and then posting about reading those. I didn't really plan on passing school anyways.
2/20/08
First of all: Travis.. Second: Is McClatchy News always this amazing??
Drug gains a buzz as hip or dangerous
Jim Sanders McClatchy NewspapersFeb. 20, 2008 09:27 AM
SACRAMENTO, Calif. - California kids legally can tune in, turn on and freak out these days with a potent, mind-altering drug that is readily available but targeted for a crackdown by police and lawmakers.Typically smoked or chewed, Salvia divinorum has become increasingly known on the Internet the past few years through sales on eBay and through YouTube videos of users tripping with it.The drug is produced from a Mexican plant used by Mazatec Indians for healing and ritual prophecy. Users in the United States have reported effects ranging from relaxation and sensual pleasure to out-of-body experiences and frightening hallucinations.
"This is the first really new illicit drug in a long time," said Dr. John Mendelson, a researcher at California Pacific Medical Center who is preparing to study how much salvia users must consume to become intoxicated.San Bernardino County Sheriff's Lt. Jerry Davis, who is pushing legislation to ban sales to minors, said one woman who used salvia - sometimes called "Sally D" or "magic mint" - claimed that her miniblinds suddenly began beating her."She had a burrito on the table," he said, reporting her hallucination. "It grew legs and teeth and started to attack her."A Delaware woman, Kathy Chidester, is pushing to outlaw salvia nationwide after her 17-year-old son Brett Chidester committed suicide two years ago - a death that a medical examiner ruled stemmed, in part, from the teen's use of the drug. Chidester said her son, a straight-A student, balked at her appeals to stop smoking salvia, which he purchased from a Web site. "He said, Mom, it's legal,'" Chidester recalled. "He said, If there was something really, really wrong with it, it would not be legal.'"Daniel Siebert, a Malibu herbalist, counters that media coverage of salvia has been unfair. It is not a party drug, does not produce a euphoric high, is not addictive, and can be used responsibly for introspection, he said."It's kind of like a tool for gaining greater understanding," said Siebert, who has used the drug many times, sells it via the Internet, and has written a user's guide that describes its effects as "divine inebriation."Siebert said users will experience varying degrees of impact, depending partly on dosage and how the drug is consumed. Salvia, whose active component is "salvinorin A," is an herb in the mint family."Salvia has much to offer: fascinating psychoactive effects, sensual enhancement, magical journeys, enchantment, apparent time travel, philosophical insights, spiritual experiences and perhaps even healing and divination," Siebert says in his user's guide.The manual warns that salvia should be used only by adults in a "thoughtful, intelligent manner," and that a companion should be present if a user is taking doses high enough that he or she might "freak out, become confused, injure (himself), fall, or do anything that might harm others."Siebert said salvia's visionary effects typically resemble a dream, with users not feeling like they are under the influence of a drug...
Jim Sanders McClatchy NewspapersFeb. 20, 2008 09:27 AM
SACRAMENTO, Calif. - California kids legally can tune in, turn on and freak out these days with a potent, mind-altering drug that is readily available but targeted for a crackdown by police and lawmakers.Typically smoked or chewed, Salvia divinorum has become increasingly known on the Internet the past few years through sales on eBay and through YouTube videos of users tripping with it.The drug is produced from a Mexican plant used by Mazatec Indians for healing and ritual prophecy. Users in the United States have reported effects ranging from relaxation and sensual pleasure to out-of-body experiences and frightening hallucinations.
"This is the first really new illicit drug in a long time," said Dr. John Mendelson, a researcher at California Pacific Medical Center who is preparing to study how much salvia users must consume to become intoxicated.San Bernardino County Sheriff's Lt. Jerry Davis, who is pushing legislation to ban sales to minors, said one woman who used salvia - sometimes called "Sally D" or "magic mint" - claimed that her miniblinds suddenly began beating her."She had a burrito on the table," he said, reporting her hallucination. "It grew legs and teeth and started to attack her."A Delaware woman, Kathy Chidester, is pushing to outlaw salvia nationwide after her 17-year-old son Brett Chidester committed suicide two years ago - a death that a medical examiner ruled stemmed, in part, from the teen's use of the drug. Chidester said her son, a straight-A student, balked at her appeals to stop smoking salvia, which he purchased from a Web site. "He said, Mom, it's legal,'" Chidester recalled. "He said, If there was something really, really wrong with it, it would not be legal.'"Daniel Siebert, a Malibu herbalist, counters that media coverage of salvia has been unfair. It is not a party drug, does not produce a euphoric high, is not addictive, and can be used responsibly for introspection, he said."It's kind of like a tool for gaining greater understanding," said Siebert, who has used the drug many times, sells it via the Internet, and has written a user's guide that describes its effects as "divine inebriation."Siebert said users will experience varying degrees of impact, depending partly on dosage and how the drug is consumed. Salvia, whose active component is "salvinorin A," is an herb in the mint family."Salvia has much to offer: fascinating psychoactive effects, sensual enhancement, magical journeys, enchantment, apparent time travel, philosophical insights, spiritual experiences and perhaps even healing and divination," Siebert says in his user's guide.The manual warns that salvia should be used only by adults in a "thoughtful, intelligent manner," and that a companion should be present if a user is taking doses high enough that he or she might "freak out, become confused, injure (himself), fall, or do anything that might harm others."Siebert said salvia's visionary effects typically resemble a dream, with users not feeling like they are under the influence of a drug...
2/16/08
2/15/08
2008 Patriots Went 19-0
Okay, not really, but as far as poor Nicaraguan children are concerned they did. I used to always wonder what they did with the hats and t-shirts that proclaimed victory for the losing team in a championship game, well, according to this article, it looks like they end up on the heads and backs of poor Central American children who don't know Tom Brady from Tom Petty.
2/12/08
2/11/08
Career change
I just quit school and told my employer to fuck off so I may study under my new mentor, Gerry Phillips
For Pizza Pasta...
For Slob Molar...
For Big Shoe...
And for Carroll Cakes...
I should have these mastered by tomorrow and made into my in-call music when you call me.
2/6/08
7 Months Without Football
Hey, Peter, in case you didn't know, the Giants won the Super Bowl. I'll give you a second to let that sink in... surprised? Me too; I just hope the news didn't cause you to spit a mouthful of Fosters and Vegemite on your computer screen. Now, if you're thinking of playing Australian rules football maybe you'll remember REAL sports don't have to remind you of what crappy country they're from--soccer isn't football, it's what lesbians do in high school before growing enormous bushes, getting Brian Bosworth hairdos and adopting Asian children. Needless to say, I'm pretty happy that Patriots lost, and would write about it but I think this basically sums up my feelings:
Neal, I know you don't like football, but you like Hawaii, so I thought you might like this:
Neal, I know you don't like football, but you like Hawaii, so I thought you might like this:
Stewmaker misses the good stuff again.
Check out this auction for a one-of-a-kind "Koston 2" sample. I'd totally buy these if I had $300 that I had to get rid of right this second.
2/4/08
Top 5 Australian Slang Terms (with examples)
As we have sent one of our own out across the sea and into the outback, I felt it appropriate to help him in his journey. Print this blog entry out and it can easily serve as a free replacement to any "Rick Steves: Australia" book or any other useless piece of reading material written by some douche who went there and studied up on "the culture". I have been there once (in 9th grade) and I know everything there is to know about this prisoners island. So read up and use my advice next time you're in what we locals call "the stralia" and you'll have more ladies than you can shake a boomerang at.
Top 5 Australian Slang Terms:
5. "She'll be apples" translation: "It'll be alright"
Ex. Dear Smitney, I know I'll be gone for 5 months, but she'll be apples.
4. "Bunyip" translation: "A mythical outback creature"
Ex. "Oh my god I hope Crocodile Dundee saves me from this bunyip chasing me through the outback." *Note* To get in any Australian's good graces bring up Crocodile Dundee at least 3 times every conversation.
3. "Clacker" translation: "Anus"
Ex. "That Yahoo Serious is one funny clacker".
2. "Holy Dooley!" translation: "An exclamation of surprise"
Ex. "Holy Dooley I just saw Natalie Imbruglia!"
1. "Jackaroo" translation: "a trainee station manager"
Ex. "Did you see that Jackaroo talking to the sheila? That wozzy looked just like Russell Crowe" *Note* Jackaroo is the single most important word in Australian diction. Any Australian would be offended if you didn't use this word at least once per sentence. **Note II** I think Russel. Crowe is from New Zealand.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)